Stop starting conversations with “How are you?”
You hop on your zoom call.
“How are you doing today?”
“Good, good” or “Doing well” or “Fine” comes the reply.
And just like that… the conversation stalls before it even starts.
Here’s a conversation tip I’ve learned after 20+ years in market research, conducting literally thousands of interviews—many of them fast-paced intercept conversations where you have seconds to build rapport:
“How are you?” doesn’t open people up.
It shuts them down.
But wait—how could that be?
Even as young children, our parents taught us that “How are you?” is polite… right?
Here’s the thing: if you want people to actually talk—if you want to genuinely connect with them—you need to give them something real to respond to.
“How are you?” is polite. But it’s just polite. So is talking about the weather or any other things you were taught about small talk.
They simply don’t work as conversation starters—they don’t guide the discussion anywhere—and then you’re working uphill because you’re stuck trying to restart the conversation.
Instead of this:
“How are you?”
“What’s the weather like there?”
“How was your weekend?”
Try this:
“What’s been the best part of your week so far?”
“What’s been most exciting for you at work lately?”
“What did you do this weekend that made you happy?”
“I know these days can get packed—where have you been spending most of your time lately?”
Notice the difference?
These are still easy. Still casual.
But they give people somewhere to go.
They create just enough direction for someone to answer with more than one word—without making it feel like an interview.
And that’s the goal.
These openings work because they:
… feel like a conversation
… give people something specific to respond to
… remove the pressure to give a “correct” answer
Most people don’t struggle to talk.
They struggle to know where to start.
Your job—whether you’re a researcher, leading a client call, or just meeting someone new—is to make that starting point easy.
Because better conversations don’t happen by accident.
They start with better openings.
“Better interviews don’t happen by accident. They are carefully crafted with intention.”
Why companies work with Bixa
When the decision matters, teams call Bixa because they don’t want probability — they want clarity they can stand behind. We conduct human-moderated interviews and rigorous quantitative studies like MaxDiff and Conjoint, and we manually analyze the work because nuance, emotion, contradiction, and context don’t show up in automated summaries.
Just as importantly, we know how to create real human connection—quickly. The kind that gets people to open up, go beyond surface-level answers, and share what’s actually driving their decisions. That’s where the most valuable insights live.
We’ve partnered with companies ranging from startups to global brands like Google, IBM, and Cvent, and the common thread is simple: they’re making a high-impact decision and need research that truly understands people.
